Thursday, March 31, 2011

10 minutes, 10 steps

How do you get ready in 10 minutes after you've spent the three hours prior to class reworking a group paper so that it was acceptable for submission?  Allow me to explain:

1) Take the fastest shower of your life.  You've been typing so fast that it could very possibly be considered cardio, and you're sweaty.  In fact, you smell.  But make the shower snappy!

2) Brush your teeth.  Your breath probably smells, too.  But DON'T put on your contacts.  You don't have time for that.  Stick to your glasses.

3) Throw on the comfiest jeans you own...the one with all the rips.  That way your haphazardness at least appears to be intentional.

4) Put on the first solid colored shirt you see - keep it simple.  You don't have time to think.

5) Add an over-sized cardi - the bigger the better.

6) Pin back your greasy bangs, but don't bother trying to give any volume to your hair.  Leave it flat.  You're running out of time!

7) Don't bother putting on any makeup either.

8) Throw on your go-to boots.  You don't have time for options.

9) Grab the nearest purse and throw in your wallet.  Don't worry about the other dozen things you usually carry.

10) Grab a drink from the refrigerator.  You're going to be thirsty after venting on the phone on the way to class.

And there you have it.  10 minutes, 10 steps.

I think that's all the passive aggressiveness for now.

Now the steps for recovering from above steps:

1) Smile and remember that tomorrow is a new day.

shirt - Banana Republic
cardi - Jessica Simpson, via Ross
jeans - Elle for Kohl's
boots - Diba, via DSW
purse - Fossil

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